Thursday, March 1, 2007
Curiousity Fulfilled (Well, not yet)
My latest top 10 list spawned a lot of curiosity, and this is the result. The following was sent in the mail today:
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Top 10 Forgotten Gems
You’ll find out quickly that I’m way behind on the times. I was probably the last to find out Ben was dating J-Lo, WHAM! Is one of my favorite bands, and I just saw the Goonies for the first time last Saturday. I do, however, have a good memory for remembering things in the past that peaked my interest at the time. For example, thanks to a mindblowingly catchy commercial jingle, I still can confidently recite Stick Stickly’s mailing address:
Stick Stickly
P.O. Box 963
New York City, NY 10108
Anyway, that kind of nostalgic know-how has made me decide to comprise a list….
Top 10 Forgotten Gems.
1. Daria
An extremely entertaining dry-humored animated series that aired in the late 90’s that almost perfectly illustrated high school culture through the eyes of a girl who managed just about as many smiles in the show’s lifespan as I have fingers on my hands. Bootleg copies of the shows can be found in a few places online, but a DVD box set will most likely never come to fruition due to the lack of an audience and the amount of licensed music featured in the show. Daria, how I miss thee…
2. Unreal Tournament 2004
This game’s online community disappeared very quickly despite receiving stellar reviews across the board. Gamespot.com went as far as to say that ‘No other multiplayer-focused action game has this much to offer.’ The speed of Unreal Tournament’s gameplay could only be matched by the Quake series, but in my experiences with both, UT had the much steeper learning curve. In the end, I believe that was the game’s downfall. It lacked the noob-friendliness of a game like Counterstrike, with the complex, but effective movement system. It’s a shame very few play this game anymore, with I being one of those who has forgotten the game.
3. Alfred Hitchcock
My favorite film director of all time doesn’t get near the recognition that he deserves these days. I know this is completely cliché when describing his work, but no other director could even come close to his ability to create suspense in his films. It’s a shame he never won an Oscar for Best Director for any of his work. Nobody was nearly as resourceful in his time with his usage of camera work and sound either. If you haven’t seen Vertigo, Rear Window, or the original Psycho yet (I know there are others worth mentioning, but these are the most mainstream) kill yourself you need to go watch them. He also was the host of one of the best TV series’ of all time, “Alfred Hitchcock Presents…”
4. Sega Channel
Probably the closest thing to date to "gamer's heaven" was probably Sega Channel. Provided by TCI Cable for about $10-15/month, in addition to your cable bill, it sent a signal through a cable line and into a cartridge you inserted into your Sega Genesis, and provided access to a library of approximately 30 Genesis games every month on demand. I remember a contest they had once around the release of the game, "Primal Rage." They allowed you access to two characters, and once you completed the game on hard mode, they presented you with a number to call and a code to enter. The first person to call the number with the code won a Primal Rage arcade unit for their home as the grand prize, and a host of other consolation prizes were given out. I remember beating the game, calling the number, and about a month later receiving a prize check in the mail for $20. Heaven on Earth, indeed.
5. Playmakers
A cutting edge ESPN series that only lasted a season, unfortunately. It was centered around a team struggling to make the playoffs in an "NFL-like" league. Apparently the show was too "NFL-like" for the liking of NFL executives as they pressured ESPN to drop the show after only a season or they would pursue legal action. With homosexual players, players on steroids, players with drug abuse, etc. It truly was a male soap-opera, and it's a shame that the show only lasted one season.
6. Nintendorks.com
Ages ago, a team of Nintendo fanatics created a very humorous site and community of Nintendorks. I remember looking forward to reading the Daily Reader Comments, and Brandon's (one of the site admins) usually half-assed response to them. An example:
I think an author should do for videogames what Nick Hornby did for music. Don't ya think? - the wonder
Brandon: I think Nick Hornby should do it.
They still post on their forums, but rarely update the site. It's definitely worthy of forgotten gem status.
7. The Elephant Man
The Elephant Man is probably one of the most touching movies of all-time, and one of only three movies to ever bring tears to my eyes (Rudy and Shawshank Redemption being the other two). The movie is a biographical narrative of the life of Joseph Merrick (referred to as John Merrick in the film), who suffered from a severe case of Proteus Syndrome in the late 19th century. The Elephant Man was directed by David Lynch, who was Oscar nominated for his direction of Mulholland Dr. (the odd movie that somehow made a lesbian scene featuring Naomi Watts creepy instead of relentlessly arousing). This movie deserves a spot in any person’s library.
8. Tomba Series
Known by most gamers as “the caveman with pink hair,” Tomba came and went relatively under the radar of most PlayStation One owners. It featured fantastic side-scrolling platforming gameplay at a time when the genre was almost obsolete and most platformers had moved to 3-D. Tomba 2: The Evil Swine Return was definitely the better of the two games, as I spent countless hours slaving away at completely every trivial challenge the game provided. What could be more fun than kicking some evil pig butt?
9. Married With Children
Never has a bald shoe salesman with a mercilessly nagging wife been so revered in the eyes of males across the nation. Al Bundy was the true man’s man, and the show that featured him was fantastic, and somehow today, forgotten. It also did not hurt the show’s popularity to have a young Christina Applegate playing the prototypical hot blonde. I believe they still air the show sporadically on F/X, but it is a shame that many do not give the show the recognition it deserves.
10. SixSixFive.com
The blog before there was a blog, a young man with Munchausen syndrome created a blog with the intention of making six hundred sixty-five daily posts. While they did not end up being daily posts, the site provides some of the most engaging reading I have come across online. He opened up the site with “Transsexual Personals Week,” sparked my interest, and I could not stop reading it. I felt like I could relate to most, if not all of the posts and opinions of JSP (the “creator” of the site). The site is also my primary inspiration for creating this blog.
Some of these gems are more forgotten than others, but all of them do not receive nearly the recognition they rightfully deserve. Feel free to leave comments, andbow down to me let me know of other hidden gems.
Stick Stickly
P.O. Box 963
New York City, NY 10108
Anyway, that kind of nostalgic know-how has made me decide to comprise a list….
Top 10 Forgotten Gems.
1. Daria
An extremely entertaining dry-humored animated series that aired in the late 90’s that almost perfectly illustrated high school culture through the eyes of a girl who managed just about as many smiles in the show’s lifespan as I have fingers on my hands. Bootleg copies of the shows can be found in a few places online, but a DVD box set will most likely never come to fruition due to the lack of an audience and the amount of licensed music featured in the show. Daria, how I miss thee…
2. Unreal Tournament 2004
This game’s online community disappeared very quickly despite receiving stellar reviews across the board. Gamespot.com went as far as to say that ‘No other multiplayer-focused action game has this much to offer.’ The speed of Unreal Tournament’s gameplay could only be matched by the Quake series, but in my experiences with both, UT had the much steeper learning curve. In the end, I believe that was the game’s downfall. It lacked the noob-friendliness of a game like Counterstrike, with the complex, but effective movement system. It’s a shame very few play this game anymore, with I being one of those who has forgotten the game.
3. Alfred Hitchcock
My favorite film director of all time doesn’t get near the recognition that he deserves these days. I know this is completely cliché when describing his work, but no other director could even come close to his ability to create suspense in his films. It’s a shame he never won an Oscar for Best Director for any of his work. Nobody was nearly as resourceful in his time with his usage of camera work and sound either. If you haven’t seen Vertigo, Rear Window, or the original Psycho yet (I know there are others worth mentioning, but these are the most mainstream) kill yourself you need to go watch them. He also was the host of one of the best TV series’ of all time, “Alfred Hitchcock Presents…”
4. Sega Channel
Probably the closest thing to date to "gamer's heaven" was probably Sega Channel. Provided by TCI Cable for about $10-15/month, in addition to your cable bill, it sent a signal through a cable line and into a cartridge you inserted into your Sega Genesis, and provided access to a library of approximately 30 Genesis games every month on demand. I remember a contest they had once around the release of the game, "Primal Rage." They allowed you access to two characters, and once you completed the game on hard mode, they presented you with a number to call and a code to enter. The first person to call the number with the code won a Primal Rage arcade unit for their home as the grand prize, and a host of other consolation prizes were given out. I remember beating the game, calling the number, and about a month later receiving a prize check in the mail for $20. Heaven on Earth, indeed.
5. Playmakers
A cutting edge ESPN series that only lasted a season, unfortunately. It was centered around a team struggling to make the playoffs in an "NFL-like" league. Apparently the show was too "NFL-like" for the liking of NFL executives as they pressured ESPN to drop the show after only a season or they would pursue legal action. With homosexual players, players on steroids, players with drug abuse, etc. It truly was a male soap-opera, and it's a shame that the show only lasted one season.
6. Nintendorks.com
Ages ago, a team of Nintendo fanatics created a very humorous site and community of Nintendorks. I remember looking forward to reading the Daily Reader Comments, and Brandon's (one of the site admins) usually half-assed response to them. An example:
I think an author should do for videogames what Nick Hornby did for music. Don't ya think? - the wonder
Brandon: I think Nick Hornby should do it.
They still post on their forums, but rarely update the site. It's definitely worthy of forgotten gem status.
7. The Elephant Man
The Elephant Man is probably one of the most touching movies of all-time, and one of only three movies to ever bring tears to my eyes (Rudy and Shawshank Redemption being the other two). The movie is a biographical narrative of the life of Joseph Merrick (referred to as John Merrick in the film), who suffered from a severe case of Proteus Syndrome in the late 19th century. The Elephant Man was directed by David Lynch, who was Oscar nominated for his direction of Mulholland Dr. (the odd movie that somehow made a lesbian scene featuring Naomi Watts creepy instead of relentlessly arousing). This movie deserves a spot in any person’s library.
8. Tomba Series
Known by most gamers as “the caveman with pink hair,” Tomba came and went relatively under the radar of most PlayStation One owners. It featured fantastic side-scrolling platforming gameplay at a time when the genre was almost obsolete and most platformers had moved to 3-D. Tomba 2: The Evil Swine Return was definitely the better of the two games, as I spent countless hours slaving away at completely every trivial challenge the game provided. What could be more fun than kicking some evil pig butt?
9. Married With Children
Never has a bald shoe salesman with a mercilessly nagging wife been so revered in the eyes of males across the nation. Al Bundy was the true man’s man, and the show that featured him was fantastic, and somehow today, forgotten. It also did not hurt the show’s popularity to have a young Christina Applegate playing the prototypical hot blonde. I believe they still air the show sporadically on F/X, but it is a shame that many do not give the show the recognition it deserves.
10. SixSixFive.com
The blog before there was a blog, a young man with Munchausen syndrome created a blog with the intention of making six hundred sixty-five daily posts. While they did not end up being daily posts, the site provides some of the most engaging reading I have come across online. He opened up the site with “Transsexual Personals Week,” sparked my interest, and I could not stop reading it. I felt like I could relate to most, if not all of the posts and opinions of JSP (the “creator” of the site). The site is also my primary inspiration for creating this blog.
Some of these gems are more forgotten than others, but all of them do not receive nearly the recognition they rightfully deserve. Feel free to leave comments, and
Monday, February 19, 2007
Bonus
My parents sent me a package one year at Easter with a bunch of candy inside it. Well I somehow managed to consume all 30 gumballs inside this Peter Rabbit within a day, and while I was on my sugar high still, I decided to send my parents an email with this attached to it.
We don't need no stinkin' badguhs'
I had decided to start a lumber company, because after years of building many many phallic objects, I decided that out of all the things I was good at, I was an expert at woodworking.
I realized that the first thing I would need was workers, so I searched the globe for a group of beavers, because I figured they were almost as skilled as I in the woodworking business. After weeks of searching, I found an able group of male beavers attempting to woo their female counterparts by slapping each other with their "flappers" in Buchanan, Virginia. I asked the beavers if they were interested in the job, but before I got an answer, I was slapped 38 times in the face, which I assumed meant, "Attend our meeting tonight." I was oblivious to what the meeting was about, but I decided to show up anyway, because I was desperate for workers. I was surprised to see that I was over four feet taller than the rest of the meetings attendees, though I never could figure out why this difference existed. Anyway, after 2 hours of listening to unrelenting beaver "flapping", I realized I was at a BUA (Beaver Union of America) meeting. Once I heard the word union (indicated my 3 flaps), I jetted out of there, knowing that a union would only kill my company.
Knowing the beavers were out of the question, I almost lost hope. I ended up turning to the badgers, figuring that since their name sounded similar to beavers, they must be good at everything a beaver is good at. I found some prettyboy badgers up in Paris, Texas, and they were more than I could have asked for. They worked for months in an assembly-line, and my company was soon one of the top lumber companies in America.
It wasn't until I raped and videotaped my sexual acts with Betty the Badger that things started turning for the worst. The badgers stopped all working, and filled my shoes with their fecal matter on 23 occasions before I confronted them about it.
I asked, "Why must you guys stop working? I know raping your woman was wrong, but she doesn't seem as moody anymore, does she?"
Apparently this wasn't the right thing to say, as the badgers looked as if they were about to attack me. Bill, who was the pack's natural leader, stepped forward and said, "It shall come to this. We will have an art contest, as that has always been an ancient ritual of the badgers. If you win the contest, we will begin working again and treat you as our master. If you lose, you will be beaten and killed by us. You will have 3 weeks to come up with your best work."
I accepted their challenge, and immediately began taking art lessons. After seven different sessions, I decided I was ready to paint my picture. I bought all of the top art supplies that all of the professionals use, and finished my work.
The day of the judging was upon us, and here is what the two sides came up with:
The Badger's Entry:
My Entry:
Needless to say, the badgers were stunned. A whip-crack with their whoopy tails, and the badgers were done. The badgers bowed down as soon as they saw my work, as they knew that my entry was unbeatable. Not only did I beat them, Jimmy Hoffa rose from the grave (Below the 50-yard line of the Meadowlands) to high-five me. o/\o HIGH FIVE.
I realized that the first thing I would need was workers, so I searched the globe for a group of beavers, because I figured they were almost as skilled as I in the woodworking business. After weeks of searching, I found an able group of male beavers attempting to woo their female counterparts by slapping each other with their "flappers" in Buchanan, Virginia. I asked the beavers if they were interested in the job, but before I got an answer, I was slapped 38 times in the face, which I assumed meant, "Attend our meeting tonight." I was oblivious to what the meeting was about, but I decided to show up anyway, because I was desperate for workers. I was surprised to see that I was over four feet taller than the rest of the meetings attendees, though I never could figure out why this difference existed. Anyway, after 2 hours of listening to unrelenting beaver "flapping", I realized I was at a BUA (Beaver Union of America) meeting. Once I heard the word union (indicated my 3 flaps), I jetted out of there, knowing that a union would only kill my company.
Knowing the beavers were out of the question, I almost lost hope. I ended up turning to the badgers, figuring that since their name sounded similar to beavers, they must be good at everything a beaver is good at. I found some prettyboy badgers up in Paris, Texas, and they were more than I could have asked for. They worked for months in an assembly-line, and my company was soon one of the top lumber companies in America.
It wasn't until I raped and videotaped my sexual acts with Betty the Badger that things started turning for the worst. The badgers stopped all working, and filled my shoes with their fecal matter on 23 occasions before I confronted them about it.
I asked, "Why must you guys stop working? I know raping your woman was wrong, but she doesn't seem as moody anymore, does she?"
Apparently this wasn't the right thing to say, as the badgers looked as if they were about to attack me. Bill, who was the pack's natural leader, stepped forward and said, "It shall come to this. We will have an art contest, as that has always been an ancient ritual of the badgers. If you win the contest, we will begin working again and treat you as our master. If you lose, you will be beaten and killed by us. You will have 3 weeks to come up with your best work."
I accepted their challenge, and immediately began taking art lessons. After seven different sessions, I decided I was ready to paint my picture. I bought all of the top art supplies that all of the professionals use, and finished my work.
The day of the judging was upon us, and here is what the two sides came up with:
The Badger's Entry:
My Entry:
Needless to say, the badgers were stunned. A whip-crack with their whoopy tails, and the badgers were done. The badgers bowed down as soon as they saw my work, as they knew that my entry was unbeatable. Not only did I beat them, Jimmy Hoffa rose from the grave (Below the 50-yard line of the Meadowlands) to high-five me. o/\o HIGH FIVE.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
LSD: The Genius Drug.
Little do most people know, much of today's world was influenced greatly by this little slip of paper, laced with LSD, or lysergic acid diethylamide. I don't know a whole lot about the drug the way it effects whoever uses it, but I do know that whoever's on it sees some crazy crap.
Rumored examples of things discovered while under the influence of LSD:
1. DNA Double-Helix:
Frances Crick himself (the discoverer of DNA) was rumored to be under the influence of LSD whenever he realized that all genes were coded by close-knit chromosome sequences in the form of a double-helix. I can't think of any other logical reasoning that he could have possibly use. Upon finding out that he was using LSD, it just all began to make sense.
2. Spongebob Squarepants
The Lord of Bikini Bottom's origins can be tracked down to none other than Stephen Hillenburg's tripping on LSD. Definitely should come as no surprise, as Hillenburg was also the main man behind Rocko's Modern Life, which was almost equally as trippy. I don't have any proof as to this show being created under the influence, but it just seems obvious to me.3. Kurt Vonnegut
I'll just leave this one to everyone's interpretation. It's my only explanation.
Summary:
If you want to make millions by creating a whacked-out invention nobody in their right mind would create, by all means take the LSD route. I mean, I created a time machine under the influence, and I'll let you guys know soon enough how it works.
Until next time!
UPDATE:
I'm in 1980! Who'd have thought Liberace was gay? The women loved him.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
An Introduction
Well, I suppose I owe you all an introduction.
My name is Shane O'Hare (no relation to Bucky). I'm 22 years old, and was easily diagnosed with ADD about six months ago, which will quickly reveal itself whenever my "daily" posts become spread out fairly sporadically.
'This is part one. It's quite without ceremony, without pretense, and more or less without merit. The especially interesting stuff will come later.'
A direct quote from my primary inspiration for this blog, and couldn't prove more true.
My name is Shane O'Hare (no relation to Bucky). I'm 22 years old, and was easily diagnosed with ADD about six months ago, which will quickly reveal itself whenever my "daily" posts become spread out fairly sporadically.
'This is part one. It's quite without ceremony, without pretense, and more or less without merit. The especially interesting stuff will come later.'
A direct quote from my primary inspiration for this blog, and couldn't prove more true.
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